TV

Television I’ll be watching this week:

RuPaul’s Drag Race and Untucked. Mondays 900pm on Logo.

Of all the reality shows I allegedly watch, this takes the cake by far. It surprised me to see Ru out of drag for much of the first show.   But he looks just as fierce and fashionably and flats. Actually, I think it’s great to see how hot he is and show the contestants that fashion doesn’t take a break. Already an appearance by Kathy Griffin won me over, and I’m starting to Santino, despite my best efforts.

Be Good Johnny Weir. Mondays 1030pm on Sundance.

I’m in love! The freshest new gay icon is here- and he’s wearing sparkle magic!! Weir is a beautifully graceful ice skater, truly a pleasure to watch. But it’s his silly-snarky innocence off the ice that sucks you into this show. He likes to play, which we love, and really just be fabulous. I’m glad that bitch Paris moved out. Regardless of his performance in the Olympics, you will see him around for more than a mo. I forsee a “Johnny Weir: My New BFF” series to come… and I will cut a bitch to win!

The last few seasons of Project Runway disappoint. Maybe the producers started choosing folks for more drama than design, but it’s just not working for me. I continue to tune in to see how preggers Heidi is and what advice Tim Gunn has for the week, but beyond that- snooze fest. Remember when we used to see cool designs and learn fierce lingo? Lifetime- you lip synced for your life, and you fucked it up. Sashay away!

Super Bowl

Another way to look at it…

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Now, I’m not advocating the wanton use of marijuana. I will say there are more damaging legal vices. According to a 2004 report by the American Medical Association, the three leading causes of death (in 1990 and 2000) were tobacco, poor diet and physical inactivity, and alcohol consumption.* Yet tobacco, alcohol, and Twinkies remain legal and readily available.

My take on keeping marijuana in the fabulous category? Follow these guidelines. Use it for medical purposes. Don’t smoke until dinner time during the week, especially if unemployed. Always pass to the left hand side. Don’t use the bong as a microphone. Sharing is caring. And don’t travel with it- make friends when you land instead.

xoxo

*http://proxy.baremetal.com/csdp.org/research/1238.pdf

Inspiration

It came upon me last night like a ton of bricks- more like a handful of mylar. All things good, great, and fabulous will henceforth be called, “glitter on a cocktail,” because really, does it get any better than that?

Crafty Bitch

I’m going to start mixing it up with my posts. Yes, I will continue to cuntily judge the gay scene, but I will also be sharing some of the other things I love to do. Watch out, Martha Stewart, Dear Fab is after your empire!!

Today: altars.We had some bare and boring shelves in our bathroom. I do spend some time praying to the porcelain god, so I figured it was an appropriate place to start.

On the left in the large square, I framed a greeting card of Saint Zoe, the Patron Saint of Skinny Bitches. I got this card at a local store, http://vintagereligion.com. The frame was a simple, cheap wooden frame from Michael’s. I used gold and zebra tissue paper  and mod podge to dress it up and finished it with a great trim of purple dangley balls.

The top right shelf is my ode to Eastern religions, again using gold tissue paper to cover an old candle holder. Then I added Buddhist tchotchkes (Yiddish for trinkets) I had around the house. I’ll probably add some more there when I find more.

The bottom right shelf is an ode to Dio de Los Muertos. I love the colors and skulls used in this Mexican celebration. I found the center altar as a greeting card, also at Vintage Religion. I dressed it up with some silver glitter glue. This glue was also great to dress up some boring tealights. To the left is a traditional marigold- a few squares of tissue paper stacked and held together with gold pipe cleaner.

For the backgrounds, I was inspired by papel picado- the beautiful paper cutouts associated with Dio de Los Muertos. And who doesn’t love a dancing skeleton? Simply Google ‘papel picado’ and tons of how-to’s pop up. Choose your favorite design and follow the instructions (basically cut out a design on tissue paper). It’s definitely harder than it looks, but worth it. Again I used my trusty mod podge to layer different colored picado on poster board. I then dressed them up with sequins using a hot glue gun with glitter glue.   Rad. Oh, and on the left there are also flying nuns glued to the background.

My next and final move to tie it all together will be a vinyl cutout of praying hands surrounded by a halo. It needs to go on the toilet lid so you really feel like you’re in church when you’re regretting last night.

Cunning Linguist

I guess not everyone knows all the rad lingo out there. Every week, I’ll give you a new zinger for your repertoire.

Totes: adverb, one syllable version of ‘totally.’ A So Cal  adverb similar to Nor Cal ‘hella,’ East Coast ‘wicked,’ used for emphasis and agreement, defined as completely. As in, I was totes wasted last night, Did he ask you out? Totes, She’s totes a tranny.

Too Much Fun Club

The gays and I have been having way too much fun together lately. Going out to dinner, trying new events, and causing the same trouble at our favorite watering holes. When I say too  much fun, I think I mean too much fun to not be nationally recognized. Go figure, I found our club name is already taken! SOB. Check out these rad dudes who beat us to it: http://www.toomuchfunclub.org/

Um, we’re definitely more fabulous, for the record!

Frendz

The last two Sundays, I’ve had two amazing Sunday dinners. One was with my ‘chosen family,’ who have been going through an extended period of mourning after a loss in the family during the holidays. There were still some awkward moments, but overall it was really joyous and pleasant. We laughed and cooked and ate and enjoyed each other’s company.

The second was with some of my same chosen family as well as my sister and mom. God, it was some of the best food I’ve put in my mouth, best anything really. San Diego does this great restaurant week where participating restaurants set fixed prices menus at $20, $30, or $40 for three courses. We hit up a more expensive place to take advantage of the $40. O.M.G. There was a silly amount of booze and crazy amount of food sharing. Forks flew across the table and everyone got a little taste of everything. Sooooo good!

Another project I’m working on has got me to thinking about my friends. I was trying to boil all of us down into universal stereotypes. It’s hard. I can’t do it. And not because my friends are so much cooler and unique than yours, although they probably are but I think everyone thinks that about their friends. At least, I hope that you all have at least one person in your life who you think is that amazing. Beyond your precious self that is!

Come Together

So far, I’ve found 2010 to be a generous mistress. Ask and you’ll totally receive. My mantra this year is, “I’m gonna get what I want” (kindly borrowed from my fav YouTube star, Liam Kyle Sullivan).
For example, I was talking to friends over brunch at Mission Monday and mentioned I had yet to see “inglorious bastards”. One friend invited me over to see it on their big screen. Later that day, I met a fellow for coffee and noticed the marquee across the street advertising “inglorious bastards” Jan 11. We went to check out the details and some guy came out and gave us both two free tickets! The fellow looked at me in amazement and said, “you’re lucky huh?”. I agreed but said I worked hard at it, “because I’m gonna get what I want.”
May be a small manifestation, but i sure do love free things! I forsee many of those same little blessings coming to all this year. It’s a year where all those little things will come together for a sum greater than the parts.
But if you sit on your ass and wait for it, you will be disappointed. You have to ask for it and then go get it.
Good luck!

I Do My Part for My Country

Thanks, Navy. Keep em coming.

Tenit to Win It

2010. I haven’t posted anything because I’m not sure where I want to go with things this year. I have yet to wrap my head around a new decade, a new year, new possibilities, new goals- all the horseshit. I spent seventy-two hours ringing it in, and I still don’t know where I am   I’ve spent the first few days trying new things. I watched a football game at a straight bar on Sunday. Weird. Not as scary as I thought, not as exciting as I hoped.  Let me get my shit together and I’ll tell you what’s what for the new year!